A Wannabe Cuckold

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A Wannabe Cuckold
Jimmy sat in front of his lap top watching yet another interracial porn video, one of probably several hundred he’d already watched, stroking his small, but erect cock, with that growing sensation of both envy, at the sight of such a massive cock as these black guys always seemed to have, and exhilaration at seeing them entering the depths of such attractive white women; he seemed to never grow tired of seeing such things.

Of course, none of his friends, or his family, knew of his secret obsession with interracial sex. They saw him as yet another typical working class white redneck; and, in many ways he was exactly that, but there was more to him than that, a lot more. He couldn’t come out and tell anyone else about that, and so his evenings were frequently devoted to indulging in that ever-growing fascination with black men, and with black men who had such enormous cocks fucking beautiful white women!

He’d never been popular with girls in school, though he’d harbored several secret ‘crushes’ for them! He’d briefly dated a pretty girl by the name of Shelly, but they had broke up not too long after words. She’d assured him he was ‘nice’, but that she’d come to like someone else, instead. “Sorry!” She’d said as she broke the news to him. “Please don’t feel bad. Okay? Like I said: you’re very nice, but…” She didn’t finish the sentence, but she didn’t really have to. It was over, and that was that. Later on, after graduating from high school, he had found out that Shelly had left him for a black guy. She moved away; went to college; and after that, she even married a black guy (not the same black guy she’d broke with him for). Others said disparaging things about Shelly. Jimmy’s older brother had called her a “nigger-loving piece of white trash.” Others said similar things as well. His mother called Shelly “a shameless whore”, pinbahis as well as a “traitor to her race,” but Jimmy didn’t feel that way about her. He’d been hurt by what she’d done, but she wasn’t a ‘whore!’ He’d never see her like that. Never.

When he got his first lap-top, he immediately plunged into the world of internet porn, and he was soon completely addicted to it, and to interracial porn especially! The videos were absolutely mesmerizing. He couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off the sights of huge black cocks gliding in and out of so many eager, and enthusiastic white women’s pussies; and they, too, seemed just as ‘addicted’ to that as he was quickly growing to be as well!

Almost immediately, Jimmy was fully enthralled by interracial porn. In fact, he seemed incapable of achieving both an erection, as well as an orgasm without watching that sort of porn; but, he didn’t care. He LOVED that sort of porn!

His mother began to be worried that her son had no young women in his life, and she started pestering him about it.

“I know you liked Shelly a lot,” she would say. “I know she hurt you when she left you for a nigger; but, there are other
girls out there! Forget about her. She’s made her choices. She’ll be sorry one day, too, about those choices! So, find another young woman, Jimmy. Stop pining away for that little slut. She’s definitely not worth it.”

He knew his mother meant well, but he was still obsessed by Shelly, and though she’d left him for a black guy, that was really a part of why he remained obsessed by her; but, he also really enjoyed interracial porn! He enjoyed it as he sat in front of his lap top stroking his smaller white cock and watching those incredibly huge black ones do what his seemed increasingly unlikely to ever experience!  

So, nearly every evening (nearly), he’d jerk off watching those pinbahis güvenilir mi incredible black guys, with those incredible black cocks, as they plunged deep inside of so many different white women’s pussies; as well as leaving their seed oozing out of them! He was especially fascinated at seeing those other guys sperm like that. In fact, he’d refrain from ejaculating until after he’d watched a number of these black studs emptying the content of their balls DEEP inside of yet another white females womb! The sight was powerful, and it always left him feeling so strangely thrilled and excited, even though he knew perfectly well that it wasn’t HIS sperm! In fact, it was because it wasn’t his sperm, but some other guys, that seemed to be so exhilarating to Jimmy the most!

“Oh, fuck—yes,” he’d say, watching some black stud dumping his load of sperm into a white woman’s pussy. He found the sexual ‘frustration’ such images engendered in him also strangely pleasurable at the same time; and that became the strongest part of his addiction to this sort of porn; and he came to enjoy that ‘pleasure’ almost as much as the eventual orgasm itself! 

There was certainly an element of masochism to it, but the pleasure it was always associated with was so intense, that he didn’t care! He wanted to taste that pleasure over and over and over again!

He came to realize that there was also a certain degree of shame he felt because of his families overt racism, and he began to see his nightly indulgence in interracial porn to be a kind of ‘atonement’ for that; which perhaps partly explained why he’d found Shelly’s attraction towards black men (and eventually marrying one) to be so…provocative; sexually provocative especially! But, there was also, blended into that other thing, a feeling of inferiority—as both white, and pinbahis giriş male. In fact, the way he saw it, white racism was a sign that theses people felt the same sort of inferiority, but used v******e and hate to prop up their own deeply felt…insecurities.

Jimmy’s thrill in watching, and enjoying interracial porn, seemed to spring from his growing sense that HE was certainly ‘inferior’, as a white male, and when compared to his black male contemporaries; and rather than that making him angry, it had left him feeling strangely at peace with himself for it! So, in a way, his nightly interracial porn ‘fix’ became a curious form of racial atonement for the whites he knew continued to foment racial division and hate! So, with each ejaculation of his sperm; with each flush of the toilet of his sperm-soaked wads of toilet paper, he was, on his own, taking what measures he had available to him to do that!

The culmination of this was his orgasm! As he achieved orgasm, there came over him such an intense feeling of relief (as well as release), as his sperm spurted out, while at the same time, he was watching the culmination of yet another black man injecting his seed into yet another white females eager pussy!

“Oh YESS! YESSS!!” Jimmy always said as he came so hard. After words, he always felt exhausted, and nicely so. He also felt relieved that, once again, his family’s racist legacy would not be passed down through his seed! He was determined to thwart that; and, he had the very means at his disposal to assure the success of it! No one in his family would understand his reasoning, but that didn’t matter. What mattered, was that HE understood it.

Though he doubted he’d ever be married, if he did get married, he would marry a white woman like Shelly, who though she might marrying him, she’d prefer fucking black guys—and, who knew? He thought. Maybe she’d even have the other guys baby! A black baby, rather than a white one with him!

That was an especially exciting thought. That would be HIS way of fighting the white racism he’d grown up around as nothing else could!

The ‘Beginning’ of the End–

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